There is this song I loved when I was a young girl, well, not that am 100 years or something but I used to be a shaggy fun back in dem days. Never heard a word of what he sang, but I only loved the rhythm of his songs. Can you believe that? Right now if you ask me to go back, I can’t. Weeeelll, there are a few of his songs that I love still, like ghetto child and one more the strength of a woman..But there is this one song that always seems to amaze me. It depicts the typical species called man and how he reacts to things...it wasn’t me.
Not bashing on any man but there is one thing as women that we have been socialized to believe all our lives. That men are weak. That we should behave in such a manner that pleases them or else they will find their way with another woman who would be either your house help, your cousin, your best friend, if it’s a pastor a congregant, worse, if it’s a father their own daughter. And then when they get themselves in all that sheet, we are expected to stand by our husbands as virtuous women, through thick and thin and defend them just as the vows say.. There we look as heroes, our husbands love us so much, they stand before people and say that we are the best thing that has ever happened to them. But what happens if the roles are reversed…mmmm…My goodness, am boiling by now..It’s just horribly pathetic..just bad..
So as women we grow with this fear in relationships that intimidates us, makes us not become all that we were called to be. We sacrifice a lot just to make our relationships work and our families to stand. There is this once I had my friend run home so fast to cook chapatis for his husband during the weekend. When I asked her why she was doing that, she gave me a very interesting answer that made me laugh and pity guyz who are married. She said, if I don’t cook, I might find him eating my househelp’s food or he will start eating in hotels and despise my food. WAIIIIIIIIT A MINUTE!!!! Before you say that I won’t get married with my thinking, there is something I want us to reason together guyz..even God allows us to do this with Him, why not you!!!
Mr Man, before this woman came to your life, you were all alone in your God forsaken dungeon, eating avocado with ugali or worse tea. You did not die, did you? Nop. Now am not saying that women should not cook or take care of their husbands once God opens that door for you but there is a point I want to pass across. We are exaggerating with all these nonsense that if a woman can’t do this, the man has all the excuse to cheat on his wife even if the issue is HIM. A woman can’t work because if she does, the man will tell them that they are spending too much time at work and not taking care of them. Leave alone the fact that they spend all night in bars getting drunk and not leaving cash at home for their families. Leave alone the fact that sometimes they go for long trips and leave their wives all alone taking care of their families. Leave alone the fact that men grow their pot bellies as early as 20 years old you might think that its a decorum while women starve to death trying to retain their figures or else the man will run away with a woman who is young enough to be their daughter. Leave alone the fact that some of them are broke, busted and disgusted, cannot provide for their homes (which is part of their role if you want us to discuss about splitting roles ), and expect us to be impeccably perfect with our cooking. leave alone the fact that some of them are so damn and yet they expect us to always have something mature to talk about. And when we do , we intimidate them. Thats the paradox!
Perfect love casts all fear.Why should I live with someone and have all this fear with them? Is fear the prison that marriage confines us into instead of making us be prisoners of love. Love does not turn us into slaves.Love liberates. Love is patient and kind. Love is sacrifice, love is humble,does not boast…Gosh, am scratching my head trying to remember the entire verse..Aki siwesmek (I cant make) You go read it for yourself and see what love is. Are you truly walking in love or you are making another person walk in fear.I think this should be the motto of every marriage. What is your motive in all that you do?Is your partner safe with you emotionally,psychologically, spiritually not just safe from alshabab attacks and all that external threats. By the way keep safe during this season, thats a government alert!
The Bible says that as a man thinketh in his heart so is he. So if a man thinks that they are weak and cannot be faithful in the midst of unfaithfulness everywhere, they will be weak. And then act funny and expect everyone in the society to pity them and clap their hands like they are some sort of hero or something. They will expect women to bend rules and their standards to make them comfortable. And on this note since father’s day is this week, I would love to appreciate all fathers, including mine who has shown me a great example. Men who are there for their families, understanding, loving, who haven’t compromised but have stood firm to make sure that all goes well. fathers who sacrificed their last penny to ensure that we went to good schools while they walked with one shoe all their lives. Fathers who beat us thoroughly so that we can now boast of having great character and achievements. Fathers are awesome. Fathers are very strong. Mr Man,you are not weak!!! Happy fathers day!!!