Kindly loose that fat sir, its ugly….thanks

 

I love Crazy Mondays. Its full of stories from creative authors who just make my Monday and as you know being a writer takes me to many places trying to polish up my writing skills. I don’t like being shallow. I love writing excellent stuff, creative articles that will make you laugh, feel inspired and above all informed and educated. That’s why I love writing.  I noted with keen interest, one particular article by  Chege Muiruri’s article on pot bellies. Well said, men should suck up their pot bellies. While they leave their wives and girlfriends to be for models who are flawless, I believe that us women should also leave them for men who are well groomed and keep fit. Ufeminist nayo!!!  I know by saying this I already have a million and one men who are about to stone me and they may start saying that looks don’t matter and all that crap. Looks do matter, if you also look for looks in women, I believe the same weights and measures should be weighed upon you. Si kwa ubaya lakini, I think in this case, tit for tat is really a fair game.  I have a million and one reasons as to why you should loose that fat and why it should  happen very fast..

 

Number one, pot bellies are ugly. Have you ever seen an oversized kid trying to put on pants that are too tight and a shirt that almost wants to come out? I saw one man one day in town. His shirt was unbuttoned around the area where the pot belly was as the unfortunate man did not buy shirt that fit his new body structure. Gosh, it looked horrible! Before I judge why you have it, I want to try and understand why you have it in the first place. Is it because you take too much beer or because money has began to flow in and now you have the capacity to indulge in the unhealthy lifestyle of the rich?Or is it because now you have a savior in the name of a wife who has delivered you from your ugali avocados and coffee chapatis?  Is it your age?Heell noo don’t give me that lame excuse. You are just 28 years of age or 26 years what the hell has age got to do with that big pot belly? So Mr. Man kindly explain to me why its that big. I know you are saying in your heart, that its none of my business but hey, when you start being affected , it all comes back to me. Everything that you do in life, comes to haunt the people around you. Be it your colleagues at work, your parents, boss, the government, your friends, your wife. So don’t give me that nonsense look that it is your business. When you die because of your big pot belly, do you know I’ll have double work at work, do you know you will leave your wife crying desperately for you and your young ones under the mercy of cruel relatives who will leave them penniless and begging in the streets. Then, I can’t be able to enjoy my peace and my hard earned money because your children want some of this.. I mean seriously, do you ever sit down to think the cause and effects of your actions? At least I have opened your eyes. Whether you see or you still want them closed, its none of my business. I have warned you. Diseases like strokes, heart diseases are waiting for the opportune time to knock at your door and do something that you will never forget. Take heed.

Second again they are ugly NKT!!!It is with sincere humility and great affection and love for my fellow brethren that I say this again, for the love of God, the pot bellies are ugly ugly ugly..These things used to be associated with old men who have retired and have nothing to loose except sit down, relax and enjoy the fruits of their labor. So what is a 30, 28 year old doing with a pot belly and they are still trying to make ends meet?Seriously, I know that one day we’ll die and leave this house behind but at least clean it up. There is nothing so terrifying as a man with a pot belly trying to pursue you.. You wonder how on earth will I walk with that thing in town and how can I run in case an emergency happens? I’ll be slowed down while you try to make me wait for you, helplessly trying to catch your breathe.,….oooiii what a disastrous sight..I don’t even want to picture it. Kindly loose it if you want to come near me..period!!!

 

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published.


*


Shares